


A Special Day

by LunarEclipse



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), M/M, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23495245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarEclipse/pseuds/LunarEclipse
Summary: Gwen and Arthur.Arthur and Gwen.Their special day.Today was a day of celebration for most folks.Today Camelot gained a new Queen.Today Arthur gained a wife.Today, Merlin's heart broke.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 82





	A Special Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been a pretty long time.  
> This is not connected to my Merlin series, and I didn't really have a set point in time for when this takes place. So picture what you will folks :)  
> With everything going on I probably didn't polish this as much as I should have, I was bummed and watching Merlin and this was born so, take that that as you will.  
> I work at an essential store, so I haven't had much free time despite the quartine. Hopefully more stuff will be coming soon though!  
> In the mean time, stay safe out there, and wash your hands! Enjoy!  
> ~Luna C

Soft bells chimed in the distance. Merlin blinked, coming back from a far off place in his mind. He was standing in the throne room, the hall decorated in beautiful shades of gold, white, and lilac.

Flower petals scattered the floor, bundles of loose petals hung from several places in the room and gently sprinkled the white roses across the room.

Merlin's smile turned crooked, his eyes crinkling as he ran his fingers along the back of a pew. The room was so beautiful, so perfect. 

Today was the day.

White lace greeted his fingertips and he sighed, his eyes scrunching as he leaned against the pew tiredly.

Today was the day.

"Merlin!~" A voice chirped, and he yelped as a young girl locked arms with him, smiling kindly. She had tan olive skin, light green eyes, and springy brown curls that were hastily pinned back. Her dimples were big as she mock curtsisted to him and stood straight.

"Aren't you ever so excited Merlin? Today's the big day!" she sang, clutching her hands under her chin dreamily. Dayna was one of the royal family's servants, he and her got on well enough and she was really nice. 

Refocusing on her words Merlin's stomach soured further and he smiled, nodding his head even as his eyes stated dim.

Dayna's lips parted, her eyes searching like she wanted to say something, a crease starting to furrow her brow.

A loud crash made Dayna jump and she shouted with dread, her face morphing into grief at the sight of a knocked over flower stand, the vase shattered.

"Oh no! Not the Lavender!" Dayna gave him a stressed smile and waved her hands. "Don't you worry Merlin I'll have it fixed in a moment!" She affirmed, nodding her head and marching over.

Merlin watched her for a second longer, shaking his head as she grabbed a young boy by his collar and wagged a finger in his face.

"Oh to be young." A familiar voice rang, and Merlin laughed, ducking his head as Gaius shuffled next to him.

"You alright Merlin? It's a big day." Gaius pressed, setting a hand on Merlin's shoulder. Merlin leant onto the warm contact briefly, before straightening and sending Gaius a half hearted smile. 

"I'm very excited." he told him, and turned, adding a small skip to his step as he left.

Very excited indeed.

As soon as the throne room doors closed Merlin burst into a sprint, covering his face with one hand as he ran through the halls.

Crashing through a servants entrance Merlin pushed himself a few more feet before collapsing on his knees in the grass.

Ragged breaths were torn from his throat, and with trembling fingertips he traced the edge of his neckerchief, counting each stroke of his callouses over the starched fabric.

"Exciting day!" Merlin choked in a cheerful voice, a tremulous smile on his thin lips.

He couldn't hold it, he bent over at the waist as his walls cracked, the feelings he tried so hard to suppress, to bury, to hide for the greater good.

They come surging up, a wonderfully horrid feeling that fills his being, from his toes to his hair; Merlin radiates with this overwhelming feeling, he might as well be made entirely of it.

Love.

Love for his king.

Love for Arthur.

Love that wouldn't, couldn't, go anywhere. They were stuck in a place where even if Arthur did love him back, such love would surely have them burnt at the stake. Merlin at least.

Merlin may be willing to die for Arthur, but as long as they are both alive Merlin will do what he can to stay by Arthur's side.

A solemn vow he had made to himself long before his feelings had bloomed.

"bloomed." Merlin muttered through a tearful snort.

Bloomed sure was a gentle word. Crashed. Fell. Earth shattering. World shifting.

These are the words Merlin would use.

How stupid could you be to fall in love with your King? To fall in love with the one you were destined to protect?

Very stupid, Merlin muses looking himself up and down. His love for Arthur once a sweet treat, then a tempting venom, now a strength, an energy. Something to remind him of what he's fighting for.

Arthur.

Arthur bloody Pendragon. 

With his perfect blonde hair, and his soul searching blue eyes. To his crooked teeth and his pouting lips. His kind heart, his gentle soul.

His fierceness.

His honor.

His respect.

His love.

God Merlin was gone.

How could he fall in love with his best friend? Someone who trusted him, what did it say about him when his king was working, that instead of doing his duties he'd rather stare, watch the way the sun glimmered on Arthur's hair. The way he would lean closer to the paperwork and accidentally tickle his chin with his quill, scrunching back in surprise each time like it's a new thing.

Arthur, a beautiful, kind, intelligent man. A man with a heart so big, a soul so  brave, so full of honor, and the light of a  _ true king _ . 

Arthur couldn't be who everyone needed and be Merlin's choice. A solemn fact.

Camelot, Albion, millions of lovely little lives; that rested on two sets of shoulders. For the time being? Only one set knowingly. 

What's one lie of emission with the sack of lies bound to his ankle, weighing him down wherever he stood?

Merlin would never breathe the truth of his deepest hearts craving, that he wished to tell Arthur the depths of his loyalty, the strength of his love, the endless belief in a better world, a better kingdom, and his belief in Arthur; an unshakable force.

If liar must be branded across his forehead for Albion to rise, so be it. 

It wouldn't be the mightiest sacrifice he'd given for the future. 

There are moments however, where his soul aches. Aches for Arthur's touch and voice, his mere presence can have the tendency to settle the constant restlessness under his skin. (With age Merlin has come to realize that's his magic under his skin. He's made of the stuff after all.)

And, there was a time when Merlin sought meaning in the prophecy where there was none. Younger, more foolish, unaware of the horrors to come, and the fresh bloom of new love glowing within; Merlin hoped for a twist.

_ He should never be so lucky. _

Two sides of the same coin.

It's a term that sparks equal parts joy and frustration in him.

_ Two sides of the same coin? _

What did it mean? If not telling of love, did it tell of friendship? Of a bond between servant and master? Or a bond between sorcerer and King?

Merlin got the inkling it was all of the above. 

What a joyous feeling, to know he is destined to help this wonderful man create a new world. A world where  _ all _ can live in  _ peace _ .

As the years had gone by, this new vision often overwhelmed him, filled him with doubt. Sometimes he craved to rid himself of this heavy title of  _ Emrys.  _ To merely toss it aside like an old cloak.

Arthur Pendragon was the reason he buttoned that cloak on firmer than ever and held on tight.

For Arthur made the weight feel less heavy. Arthur made the dark spots  _ so much brighter. _

God's above Merlin had fallen far.

What did it say about a man who never spoke up, who let feelings fester and burn till they ache? Surely said man was not enough. Right?

In any case, Merlin's silence on the matter wasn't entirely selfless.

He _ was frightened. _

Frightened of ruining this amazing bond he had with his King. Their banter, the way they speak together with their eyes, how they've seen each other at their lowest and didn't blink.

How they've basked together at their peak.

Arthur was his best friend. Who was he to change that?

Even worse, his best friend's marrying each other.

Gwen and Arthur.

Arthur and Gwen.

Their  _ special  _ day.

Today was a day of celebration for most folks.

Today Camelot gained a new Queen.

Today Arthur gained a wife.

Today, Merlin's heart broke. 

_ ~Fin _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> If you head over to my prompt Twitter that I haven't used in months, you can send in prompts for any of the fandoms I've done work for, @LunarEclipseLE  
> Again, stay safe out there, and have a great day/night!  
> ~Luna C


End file.
